How to message a woman who is not out
Written by Julien Lenaz, lead developer of cruush.
Keep the first message simple
Say hello, mention something from her profile, and ask one easy question. You do not need to explain who you are or what you want in the first line.
Let her lead on privacy
- Do not ask for her face, her full name or where she works.
- Do not ask her to move to another app or give you her phone number straight away.
- Do not mention her profile or your chat anywhere else.
- Do not send anything that could embarrass her if someone saw her phone.
Be patient
She may reply late, because she may only be able to check when she is alone. A slow reply is not a no. Sending several messages in a row can feel like pressure.
Be clear, not pushy
Say what you are looking for in a sentence, and ask what she is looking for. If she says she is not sure, take that as an answer for now.
If she disappears
Let her go. She may have deleted her account or decided it is too risky. Do not try to find her elsewhere.