Your first time with a woman
Written by Julien Lenaz, lead developer of cruush.
Nobody expects you to know everything
If you have never been with a woman, that is normal for a first time, and it is more common than people admit. You are not supposed to arrive with a script. Curiosity and a willingness to pay attention count for more than experience.
Talk before you meet
Say what you want to find out, and ask her the same. You can talk about what feels exciting and what feels like too much. It is much easier to say it in messages than in the moment.
Go at a pace you both like
- Kissing and touching can be the whole evening if that is what you both want.
- Ask. Something like: Does this feel good? or Do you want me to keep going?
- Pay attention to her breathing, her body and what she says.
- You can stop at any point, and so can she.
Say what you like
Women often like very different things from each other, so do not assume that what worked for one person will work for another. Tell her what you like and ask her to tell you.
Look after your health
Sexually active women can pass infections to each other, including HPV, herpes, trichomonas and bacterial vaginosis. Gloves, condoms on sex toys and dental dams all lower the risk. Wash or cover toys between partners. A clinician can tell you how often to be tested and which vaccines suit you.
Afterward
Check in with her, and with yourself. You might feel excited, awkward, or both. You do not have to decide what it means, and nobody is owed a label. Keep what happened private unless she says you can share it.