Your first time with a trans man
Written by Julien Lenaz, lead developer of cruush.
He is a man
A trans man is a man. Use his name and his pronouns the whole way through, including in bed. Getting them wrong, even by accident, can undo a lot of trust.
Ask, and use his words
If you are unsure what words he uses for his body, ask him privately, and use the words he gives you. Do not guess and do not use words he has said he dislikes.
Do not assume
- Do not assume what he likes or what he does not.
- Do not assume what his body is like.
- Ask before you touch, and follow what he is comfortable with.
His body is his to talk about
Some trans men bind their chests. If he does, do not ask him to take it off or loosen it. Let him decide. Do not ask about surgery, hormones or medical history, and never ask about his old name.
Do not fetishize
He is not a curiosity or a way to explore something. Treat him as you would anyone you are attracted to.
Look after your health
Infection risk depends on what you do, not on anyone's gender. Condoms, gloves and dental dams lower the risk, and a clinician can advise you on testing and prevention.
Afterward
Check in and thank him. Keep it private unless he says otherwise.