Your first T4T hookup
Written by Julien Lenaz, lead developer of cruush.
You still need to ask
Being trans does not mean you know how another trans person feels about their body. Everyone is different. Ask, even if you think you understand.
Language and names
Use their name and pronouns. Ask what words they like for their body, and use those. Do not assume that words that work for you will work for them.
Dysphoria is real
Some people have a hard time with parts of their body or with being touched in certain places. If someone tells you something is off limits, accept it without asking why. If you notice them go quiet, check in.
Talk about what you want
- Say what you like and what you do not.
- Ask what they like.
- Agree on what is off the table before you start.
- Stop as soon as either of you wants to.
Look after your health
Infection risk depends on what you do, not on anyone's gender. Condoms, gloves and dental dams lower the risk, and a clinician can advise you on testing and prevention. Clinics that are trans-friendly exist in many places.
Afterward
Check in and thank each other. Keep it private unless you both agree otherwise.