Consent and cruising
Written by Julien Lenaz, lead developer of cruush.
Consent is specific
Saying yes to meeting is not saying yes to anything else. Each thing you do together needs a yes from both people.
It can change
Anyone can stop at any point, including partway through. A yes earlier does not stay a yes.
Before you meet
It helps to say what you want and do not want in messages first. That way surprises are fewer, and a mismatch shows up before either of you has traveled anywhere.
During
- Check in with each other, with words, not just guesses.
- Pay attention if someone goes quiet or stiff.
- Stop if you are not sure.
Alcohol and other drugs
Someone who is very drunk or high cannot consent. If you are in that state, it is also a good reason to postpone meeting.
If it went wrong
What happened to you is not your fault. You can block and report the person from their cruush profile, and you can contact a support line or the police. In the United States, RAINN runs a free sexual assault hotline.